It’s been a while since I’ve written or posted anything on my WordPress account, but I think now’s a best time to catch up with and understand myself, to reflect, and to express what I feel and speak out what I think.
Everyone is bothered by certain things, but lately as I am bothered I remained silent, unbiased and entitled myself not to get involved but issues, dramas, and any kinds of problems because after certain situations I have learned not to care, live my life on, and to just be me. Besides, I thought, it was not “yet” my place to speak, coz I am filled with fear that people might misunderstand what I say, misinterpret my actions, and be mislead by my intentions. In all honesty, I would’ve said something, I would’ve shared what I know, expressed what I feel, etc., maybe because it feels like there’s something missing.
My family has been great lately, and by tomorrow we’ll be living in our new home, starting life over together. Our relationship towards each other’s great; when my parents ask me to do them something I don’t complain anymore, when my brother asks me to help him with something it doesn’t take a whole hour to argue yet things get and over with without complains, and lastly my relationship with my sister is getting better as we open up our feelings about certain things and have deep talks about them. There things that had been badly tolerated, yet support, love, and comfort is still there.
My workplace is alright, nothing much to complain about because my relationship with my coworkers in and out of work is fine. There are times that we become a little unprofessional with small things but we keep it together and stay positive.
DREAM Dance Company had asked me to come back and dance with them. My first performance back with them will be Lunar/Viet Fest on January 2012. I cannot express more how grateful I feel towards this invitation after all incidents, dramas, and issues that happened before, and I’m truly grateful to be back on the team/crew that I started dancing with. 
C2 Genesys is getting bigger and better. This dance team/fam had brought and taught so much to my life. I mean, despite all issues, loss of friends, and personal challenges, I completely admire how this team is still standing strong, and I’m truly grateful and blessed to be part of this family. They had taught me so much things that I didn’t see myself going into from the past. They had provided and taught me to gain confidence, have wisdom & knowledge, share the love of dance, and that self-development that I all didn’t imagine having. A lot of people say that this family’s time is over since a lot of dance teams & crews are stepping their games up and on a whole new level…well faith is faith, and I have so much faith in what this team is about to put out there, and on what this family and group of friends can do, and I’m just happy and blessed being in this family.
Dance is getting be best and worst of me. The ironical inner debate of this statement means that dance is really filling my life and soul in diifferent ways. Music, along with dance creates the different side of me; expressing more of what I feel, speaking out my thoughts, and making me just be me. As introverted as I know I was, through dance I learned to be more social, be open-hearted and be more open-minded, I learned to deliver my message through movements that my body can possibly create, and if impossible, it’s that challenge that I can learn from and try to win. I also learned to incorporate movements that people, which are my dance instructors, teachers and mentors, wants the story to be told as, and how they want it delivered through their students through different perspectives. Dance had helped me gain confidence, self-development, knowledge, wisdom, and life. It helped me feel more, express more, and live more. It gave me the opportunity to take control, to manipulate myself, and to take the lead. It gave me more heart and soul, as I gave more heart and soul to it.
Though everything seems to be going well and fine, it feels like something’s missing.
I don’t feel “human” lately.
There’s that certain urge in me that I want to give out something I’ve long had, something called love. I want to share my love, feel inspired, feel motivated by someone, and be on the same boat with that person. I’ve been on search, and I’m still waiting for that person to come find each other singing and dancing on the same song, having fun, and just being ourselves, being crazy and loving each other. Though God has better plans for me, it’s good to still feel human and just share the love that I’ve been saving for that person.
- Angel
December 16, 2011
angelaiizyku
